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In the style of

Denis Leary


i'd like to sing a song
about the
american dream

about me
about you
about the way
our american hearts
beat way down
in the bottom
of our chests

about that
special feeling we get
in the cockles
of our hearts
maybe below
the cockles
maybe in
the subcockle area

maybe in the liver
maybe in the kidneys
maybe even
in the colon
we don't know

i'm just a regular joe
with a regular job
i'm your
average white
suburbanite slob

i like football
and porno and
books about war
i got an average house
with a nice
hardwood floor

my wife and my job
my kids and my car
my feet on my table
and a cuban cigar

but sometimes
that just
ain't enough
to keep a man like me
no way

no i've gotta go out
and have fun
at someone else's
yeah yeah

yeah yeah yeah
i drive really slow
in the ultra-fast lane
while people
behind me
are goin' insane

i'm an a##hole ee oh
ee oh ee oh
ee oh ee oh
i'm an a##hole ee oh
buddy oh
buddy oh

i use public toilets
and i piss on the seat
i walk around
in the summertime
how about this heat

i'm an a##hole ee oh
ee oh ee oh
ee oh
i'm an a##hole ee oh
buddy oh
buddy oh

sometimes i park in the
handicapped spaces
while handicapped
people make
handicapped faces

i'm an a##hole ee oh
ee oh ee oh
ee oh
i'm an a##hole
oh yo ee oh

maybe i shouldn't be
singin' this song
ranting and raving
and carrying on
maybe they're right
when they tell me
i'm wrong

i'm an a##hole ee oh
ee oh ee oh
ee oh
i'm an a##hole

you know
what i'm gonna do
i'm gonna get myself
a 1967 cadillac
eldorado convertible

hot pink
with whaleskin
and all leather
cow interior
and big brown
baby seal eyes
for headlights yeah

and i'm gonna
drive around
in that baby
at a hundred and
fifteen miles per hour
gettin' one mile
per gallon

suckin' down
from mcdonald's
in the old-fashioned
styrofoam containers

and when i'm done
suckin' down those
greaseball burgers
i'm gonna
wipe my mouth
with the american flag

and then
i'm gonna toss
the styrofoam
right out the side

and there ain't
a g##damn thing
anybody can
do about it
you know why

we got the bombs
that's why
two words
nuclear f####n'
weapons ok

they can have
all the democracy
they want

they can have
a big democracy
right through
the middle of
tiananmen square

and it won't make
a lick of difference
we got the bombs ok

john wayne's not dead
he's frozen
and as soon as we find
a cure for cancer
we're gonna thaw out
the duke

and he's gonna be
pretty pissed-off
you know why
have you ever taken
a cold shower

well multiply that by
fifteen million times
that's how pissed-off
the duke's gonna be

i'm gonna get the duke
and john cassavetes
and lee marvin
and sam peckinpah
and a case of whiskey
and drive down
to texas

why don't you
just shut up
and sing the song pal

i'm an a##hole ee oh
ee oh ee oh
ee oh ee oh
i'm an a##hole

arf arf arf
arf arf arf arf
foong a chinka tum
chee foong
a yeah yeah

ooh ooh
i'm an a##hole
and i'm proud of it


  • Duration : 4:26
  • Key : D
  • Genre : Specialty
  • Year released : 1993
  • Language : English

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